Intimacy.
Do you want to hear something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so careful when falling in love. It really is worth fighting for, Being brave for, And risking everything for. The only trouble is if you don’t risk anything, you’ll be risking even more. Trust yourself and take the fall. Follow your heart, Just don’t forget to take your brain with you.
How many times have you given your heart away to someone who didn’t deserve your love, Or wasn’t ready to commit? Giving your heart away too soon is the mistake people make so often. They let their feelings take control and are blinded from the other persons true intentions by the sweet words they say. Each time you give into temptation or give yourself away it’s just damaging you even farther. You can’t take your virginity back. You shouldn’t feel rushed into having sex. One of my biggest regrets is not waiting until somebody really cared for me emotionally instead of just being interested in me physically. Once somebody takes your innocence, You‘ll never be innocent again. Girls often realize this too late and go looking for love in the wrong places, Making the same mistakes over and over again. Each person you give yourself too will always have a place in your heart, And most of them won’t deserve it. Don’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing how fragile you are. Show them that physical intimacy is nothing compared to the real love and affection you deserve and are willing to give. They may say they love you, But they just lust you. Make them show you their true feelings, Make them wait.
When you do love someone, Love them appropriately. Use your head to test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent. Don’t fall for the sentimental feelings that will only last for the moment. It may feel great for the time being. But the pain they cause you won’t be worth the artificial sense of security and affection they gave you while they were meeting their own selfish needs. While you let your feelings carry you away the other person was only thinking about themselves. Let me ask you, Does the guy that sleeps with his girlfriend knowing it will scar her forever really love her? If he loves you, He will commit to you and wait until the time is right. Rushing things only leaves you wishing you would have been patient and waited. Use your heart as well as your head.
I’ve come to realize that I have no business or right asking for somebody’s attention and heart if I have no intention of backing up my request with a commitment to do the same for them. Let your feelings look past the satisfaction that person can give you for the moment, And see where the two of you could be down the road. Too many young people, Men and women rush into relationships based on the short term, fictitious, emotions and gratification. Nobody sees the harm these superficial relationships can cause. Because of people’s lack of respect and self control needs are not met and people are left broken hearted and scarred in selfish relationships.
Short term dating leads to intimacy but more often than not, There is no commitment made to one another. Young people date because they want to experience the physical and emotional benefits of a relationship without actually having to deal with the responsibility of committing. What these people fail to realize is that a relationship based only on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as their feelings do. Often dating encourages intimacy just for the sake of being close to another person. Deepening intimacy without commitment is just dangerous. Intimacy between two people in a relationship may seem like the icing on the cake. Intimacy without commitment, Like icing without cake, Always starts out sweet but leaves us feeling sick.
Just because lips have met doesn’t mean two hearts have joined, And just because two people are physically drawn to one another doesn’t mean they are right for each other. A physical relationship isn’t equivalent to love. People mistake physical attraction and sexual intimacy for true love.
Lust
Lust often becomes the common interest that brings the couple together. As a result, They determine the seriousness of their relationship by the level of their physical involvement. Physical involvement can make two people feel close in a relationship but if they both examined the focus of the relationship they’d probably discover that all they really have in common is lust.
By its very definition, Dating is about two people focusing on each other. But unless a young man is willing to make a promise to you, what right does he have claiming your exclusive attention? Don’t give him your attention until you know he isn’t looking for the worlds idea of love based completely on what feels good. Your love is the reward of his commitment, Don’t give him your heart before he’s earned it. The majority of girls look so hard for a boy to make them feel good that they become naïve, Looking past the boys who want to give them their world.
How long the two of you wait to have sex is completely up to you. But if you both are committed to one another you won’t feel rushed or pressured. People might love the person they are with but they might not be in love with them. If sex is the only way to show your love for one another maybe the two of you aren’t right for each other. A relationship consists of people loving, fighting, and protecting each other, Not just sleeping together. Love is supposed to be fueled by the butterflies you get when holding hands, Not the heat of the moment mistakes. Love is one word, With an endless amount of definitions.
Love is such a hard thing to find, That is why people look so hard for it, But so many look in the wrong places with the wrong people. You might think you love somebody, But you might just love the idea of being with somebody.
I often wonder if more girls were willing to be ladies and wait to give their bodies away, If more guys would feel challenged to be gentlemen. Today there is no such thing as waiting, Everyone has heard the saying “ I love you, If you really loved me you’d do it. “ Basically this is stating “ I don’t care how much this could damage you emotionally, Meet my needs. “ This boy might say he loves you, But if his actions aren’t showing what his mouth is saying, His words mean nothing.
Society tells us that love is beyond our control by stating that we “fall in love. “ Or that we are “ crazy about somebody. “ I think we all use these exaggerated analogies because it removes personal responsibility. We think of love as something out of our control, Therefore we excuse ourselves from behaving responsibly. But if love honestly is passed the point of being controlled we can’t possibly be held responsible. Yes we lost respect for ourselves, And yes we might have hurt other people in the process, But we couldn’t help it, we were in love. No. Love is under our control. We cannot justify what we know is wrong by saying love grabbed a hold of us and made us act irresponsibly. That is not love.
The right thing at the wrong time, Is still the wrong thing. When people want things, They want them right away. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by accepting the bad times before the good do they usually get the things worth waiting for. Kids involve themselves in sexual relationships at an increasingly young age. What they fail to realize is that they are taking a good thing out of it’s appropriate time. Sex in itself is a wonderful experience, But just because something is good doesn’t mean you need to have it right away. We want to grow up too soon, And regret our actions too late. sex started becoming easier to get, love started becoming harder to find.
Many girls have memories or incidents in their past that make them feel unworthy of being treated with respect and love. These thoughts cause them to feel the need to give their hearts away to who ever may come along. Don’t let your past beat you up. Forget it. We all have a past, but if we continue to live there we’ll never change our future.
Above all else, guard your heart ladies. We often want to “ follow our hearts. “ What we don’t realize is that our heart can lead us in the wrong direction. Our hearts lie, something can feel right, but it can also be completely wrong. We tend to build up the boys we choose to pursue by making them seem “ perfect. “ When we get to know this person we often realize they are usually ready for the sack, but not the sacrifice. Make them keep their hands off; and keep your clothes on until you are in love and committed to one another, It will mean so much more than just laying down with each other because you two got carried away too early.
] When you do find the one never stop chasing them. Relationships don’t fail because of the lack of love shared, but
Because one, or both parties quit trying. Before one claims another as their “ significant other “ they would do anything to make them happy. They would chase, they would flirt, they would be charming, they would tell you good morning and good night. They would have endless conversations with you on the phone, they would do anything to make you smile. But once they claim you as theirs all of these things seem to fade away because you have already been won over. The lovely endearments turn into arguments. In order for a relationship to work, never stop chasing and falling in love with one another every day. Just because this person is now considered “ yours “ does not mean they deserve anything less than the time you spent winning them over in the beginning.
History never looks like history while you’re living through it. It always looks messy and confusing, but that is no excuse to compromise your values. Write a love story with your life that you’ll be proud to tell.
Morgyn Baughman.
